Today is my mother’s birthday and she is 90 years old in my experience with her. It’s the sixth birthday that we have observed since she returned to the spirit realm. I miss her dearly and I think of her often. I have two sisters and we each have experienced our mother differently. We each experience our grief differently and that’s okay.
My life has taken a few twists and turns since my mom left. Some things I never imagined have occurred and some things that seem to have given me some continuity in my life. My world changed when my mother died. I have listened to some people call it transition but I have to say that she died. It is a harsher term and that’s exactly how I feel about what happened. It was harsh.
I know that my mom is in a better place now. I know how much suffering she went through without complaint. I am thankful and grateful that God allowed her to leave this world and finally have some peace. I still feel the harshness of her not being here. I miss her at times more than I could have ever imagined.
To all of you who have experienced the loss of a love one be it through breakup, or divorce or death, I can only say that it gets better. You will find your balance again. You will smile again. You will wake up one day and find that you are looking forward to the future. It will not diminish the empty feeling you have for the person but it will show you how to continue living even though it is without them.
When my world turned upside down with the death of my mother I turned to God. I asked God to help me make sense of my life at that point. I didn’t know what to do or how to do it. I had no idea how I would survive without my mother but I have. It hasn’t always been easy but it has been consistent. I have found comfort in God. I hope that those who are grieving find comfort too.
There are time when I think about my mom and I start to cry. I use to stop the tears but I don’t anymore. I truly believe that the tears help me to heal. So Happy Birthday mommy. I miss you today and I will miss you forever. I love you more than I will ever be able to explain but somehow, I know that you understand.
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